Painless Suicide

"And it was through falling flat-on-my-butt in love with him that I realized the most important thing about first love: as deep as it is for you at the time, it’s only a teaser for even more amazing things to come. And whether first love ends dramatically or hurtfully or simply, eventually all the emotional fog surrounding it clears and we can see that first love is so special because it’s one of the few experiences in life when we follow only our heart – not reason, not “rules,” not what other people say. Maybe that’s why we all hold on to our first love in some way – why we miss it or long for it, want to reclaim or redo it. Because first love opens our eyes to that feeling that everyone has been talking about, singing out, writing about. It makes you feel like you’ve crossed over from not knowing to knowing. With first love, everything is new and the possibilities it awakens in you are exhilarating." ~ Jessica Blatt

 

not pushing it though, if you dont want to. doesn't mean i don't want to.

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.